Confidence: Your Definitive Guide on Building It

Building your confidence is a lifetime journey, and if you aren’t the most confident person yet don’t freak out, there is more than enough time to become one. Confidence can be best described as the belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities. The definition of confidence exists alongside with self-efficacy, meaning that your confidence can be built when you see yourself mastering skills and achieving goals that matter to you, and if you work hard towards an area that you are lacking, you become better equipped and are more likely to overcome challenges better as they arise. Life can be very challenging and has a way of playing with our self-confidence but you don’t want your fears holding you back from the possibility of who you could become. The best way is to start working at it one step at a time with these 10 ways to build up your self-confidence.

1. Picture a better version of yourself

“What the mind can conceive and

believe it can achieve.” — Napoleon Hill

Most people aren’t as confident because they unconsciously paint a bad image of themselves. Visualization begins at seeing yourself through a lens that makes you proud. You have to be able to look at the stage you are in life and not exactly settle but know that you are strong, you have come a long way, and you will continue to grow into the woman you will one day become if you work hard at it. When we struggle with low confidence it just means that we have a bad perception of who we are, which is often wrong. A good exercise to help with this is grabbing a pen and paper, and jotting down the characteristics of the old you, and also writing down how some of those things have changed now. This will help remind you of your growth so far.  Visualizing a better image of ourselves is the best start to the journey of becoming more confident.

2. Stretch yourself by trying things you never imagined

Everyone has something that they are afraid of, and that fear deep down inside of us is what builds on to become low self-confidence. The best way to escape it is by simply crushing those things that scare you proving that you are on top. You have to be bold enough to face your fears head-on. Start by thinking about 5 things that you never thought you could do, and make it a point to try those things. For example, I was always afraid to blog because I never thought I could write and produce content, but I started with getting a website made, and after accomplishing that I had to publish something right? So guess what not wanting people to come to an empty blog page forced me to start writing. As I continue to practice this skill I am realizing that If I take the same steps with all of my fears I can actually do more than I imagined, and it feels great. No one is just born great at everything. The only difference between you and the people who are doing a lot is that they actually did it and eventually did it all!

3. Practice speaking positive affirmations to build confidence

Affirmations are things we say to ourselves that affects our subconscious mind and how we think which eventually transitions to how we feel about ourselves, our actions, and reactions. For example, if you don’t like your physical appearances, wake up every day and look yourself in the mirror while saying “ I am beautiful” “I love my forehead, and how exotic it makes me look.” If you say these positive things eventually you will start to believe it. Now the next time someone tries to say you aren’t beautiful, immediately you will react by saying “ I am beautiful.” Your positive reaction will let you know that you believe it and you will become more confident in that area. Affirmations will challenge your low self-esteem, change the way you think, and make you become such a positive thinker that you start to positively influence the people around you. The best way to practice positive affirmations can be by waking up every morning and listening to a positive podcast before work and this can even be during the drive to work. Take some time to always make sure that you begin your day knowing that the universe is working in your favor, and you are a person worthy of greatness.

4. Add goal setting to the list

Most people who are not successful and do not believe in themselves usually aren’t setting goals and accomplishing enough. Goal setting helps builds your confidence by helping you see your small wins over time and proving that you can do anything as long as it is specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-bound. Creating goals for yourself will help you start thinking about the things you want to change about your life, things you have been procrastinating, and also help you realize that your life is completely based on the things you make happen. To set goals efficiently make sure that you are setting S M A R T goals.

Specific- Say for example you really want a summer body. Don’t just write “ get a summer body” on the list. This isn’t specific enough. Maybe set a goal to lose 20 pounds by August. Which will now create other goals for you like maybe purchase a gym membership this week so that you are on the fast track to accomplishing this specific goal.

Measurable – Measuring your goals is putting the number of pounds you would like dropped and creating a timeline to accomplish this. If you don’t measure your goals there is no way to keep track of how far you are away from accomplishing that goal. So every time you step on the scale at the end of the week you may notice you lost 5 pounds. As you lose 5 pounds every week you will eventually get to 20 pounds at the fourth week.

Attainable-  Make sure that your goal is realistic and you can actually do it. Saying you want to lose  20 pounds in a month or two is definitely doable with the right nutrition and exercising 5 days a week.  But saying you want to lose 20 pounds in 2 weeks is ridiculous, so make sure your goals are realistic. When you create goals that are realistic you save your self the frustration of feeling like you didn’t accomplish anything which prevents low self-esteem.

Relevant- Not every goal is worth setting so make sure that your goals are relevant to the overall goal of your life. For example, if you are a model or someone with a health risk, setting a goal to work out and be extra healthy is beneficial to you. Be very honest with yourself when it comes to these goals. Are you saying you want to lose weight and actually willing to do what it takes? Are you still eating junk food because it’s free and the office has it laying around? Are you even hitting the gym or are you walking around your apartment in a waist trainer that’s ripping your ribs hoping you magically lose weight? Make sure that everything you do aligns with the goals you have.

Timebound- Every goal needs a deadline or else it just turns into a dream. If you really want to lose weight make sure to grab your calendar and put an x on the day you will have lost this weight. As long as you make these smart goals you are proving to yourself that you are not only willing to do what it takes but you are creating a system to make sure that it happens. This will definitely spice up your self-confidence and soon you will start crushing every department of your life.

5. Self-care is a must

Self-care could be simply taking yourself to the nail shop every week, or it could be getting your makeup done so you feel even prettier. Whatever self-care is to you do that! Make sure that you are doing things that always make you feel like you are worthy, deserving and as you continue to take care of your inner self I promise things will be okay.

6. Get used to rejection and take the chance

The other day I was talking to a guy who told me that at the club he approaches girls that he very well knows are out of his league just so he can get used to hearing no. As he walks up to this ladies he simply shoots his shot, and eventually, he hears no so many times that it just become a word and his brain becomes immune to it. So when he finally approaches that last cute girl without expecting anything he gets that yes and he feels awesome about it. I actually agree with this approach because I took the same approach to sales. My first month on the job I would literally cry because clients would not buy from me. But as I kept pitching and pitching and pitching I started to understand that a no is not the end of the world, and now every time I hear a no, I am confident enough to just keep looking for that yes. Accepting rejection and still pushing past your fears will help you believe in yourself which will boost your confidence.

7. Make friends who gas you up

Your environment says a lot about you so why not be around the best people, and opportunities life has to offer. If you want to boost your self-confidence make friends who tell you that you are beautiful, who love to compliment you, who will be honest and let you know that you aren’t living life to your fullest potential. Get away from the naysayers. You know that one friend that tries to talk you out of your ideas, that tell you that you are doing too much. Yes, ditch that friend immediately! Because chances are they have low self-esteem and if you stick around that’s exactly who you will become. Always surround yourself with people who want nothing less than greatness for themselves and you are on your way to building up that confidence girl.


1 Comment

  1. Cynthia Godslaw on November 20, 2018 at 9:21 am

    thank you so much love God bless you!!

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