You are not alone….
We live in a world that glamorizes being in a constant state of happiness so much that we rarely discuss the reality of life and how the pressure can cause us to feel a whirlwind of emotions. Typically when I log on to social media everyone looks excited. So excited that you would never think that your typical influencer was a human being just like you who also had real-life problems just like you. How do I know this? I know because I’ve been that person that faced the feeling of sadness without a place of escape. I was in a relationship for 8 years and I thought I was dating my best friend, someone who I could potentially see a future with, but that was not the case. At the end of the relationship I started feeling really sad and unfulfilled. I was no longer happy being in that relationship, I realized that I didn’t fully trust the person I thought I knew all those years. Not only was the lack of trust an issue but I was also evolving so fast that we no longer connected the way we used to. The relationship had lost its fun and most of our time was spent arguing about things that were irrelevant. I knew that I had to break up with him, and the thought of losing the only person I had really been with from my teenage years hurt me. I finally got the courage to dissolve the relationship and after I left him I spent a number of days depressed. I could barely wake up out of bed and I lost my appetite. I couldn’t imagine what life would be like without him but eventually, I got over it. Even after my relationship, I still have minor moments where I feel sad but I’ve been able to manage it by being positive and following these techniques. Here are 4 techniques that have helped me combat the feeling of depression:
Understand Why You Are Depressed
Instead of just acknowledging your depression or running from it, the proper course of action is addressing it. When you get in the habit of understanding why you feel the way you do, you realize that most of your depression can be fixed by simply being your own therapist. After the end of my relationship, I had to understand why I felt so sad about the breakup. I kept thinking maybe I was sad because I lost the love of my life. Then the second thought was maybe I was sad because of how hard breaking up with him was after all these years of investment. Then I started asking myself the real questions. Was I sad because I was away from him or because I wasn’t fulfilled with myself? I realized that part of my depression was coming from my attachment issues. So much of my identity had been based on who I was with and the life I envisioned for us together. My lack of self-love at the time and attachment was the cause of my depression. Knowing this really helped me realize that I had to overcome this feeling. I had to find who I was without the relationship. I had to realize that I was the bag, and doing that helped me get through this difficult time. The truth is in order to cope with your depression you have to understand the root. Grab a book and start writing and question why you are depressed. Is it because of unresolved conflict, low self-esteem, self slander, or overthinking? Asking yourself the tough questions and being completely honest at all times will help you really cope with the feeling of depression.
Take Care Of Your Body
The best revenge is loving yourself and realizing that you are worthy. Taking care of my body has always been something I’ve been passionate about for years but during this time it was hard for me to meal prep and workout like I typically do. I was watching myself fade away and I had to ask myself this question “Is this how you want to go out Cyn?” I had to look at my photos on Instagram to remind myself that I was a bad bitch and it worked. After a couple of days of looking at myself, I decided I would get up and hit the gym. I found a way to use the emotions I felt like a fuel to recreate the person I wanted to become. Not only did I begin working out again consistently but I also started juicing which made me feel energetic and excited again. I looked and felt so good that I started attracting better people and experiences that were truly aligned for me, and you can too. If you are reading this I advise you to work out and get at least 20-30 minutes of cardio 3 times a week. It’s also important that you eat healthily, get rest, and spend time loving yourself. The body, mind, and soul work together so it’s essential that you don’t neglect one or the other. Self-care is the best drug you can get addicted to so tap into it.
Start With Mindfulness
Keeping my mind active is a technique that really helped me get over being sad. Once I was able to really understand the cause of my depression it became easier to keep my mind active without feeling like I was neglecting the root of the issue. Instead of sitting around feeling sorry for myself, I decided to get creative and more laser-focused on everything I wanted to accomplish. I took a personal development 3-week course in San Francisco that helped me understand my behavioral pattern starting from childhood until adulthood. I was able to understand the self-limiting beliefs that had been holding me back and this freed me. I spent my time blogging about how I felt and creating content that genuinely made me happy. I also spend my time doing a lot of fun things that made me connect to the childlike side of who I am. Doing all this really helped me emerge out of the place of sadness and come out of my cocoon. The goal is to keep your thoughts and mind so engaged that it doesn’t have time to feel depressed for long. Try these techniques and in due time your depression will get easier to combat.
Connect To Spirit
Talking to God has been the most reliable source of healing for me. I’m not the type of person to push spirituality on anyone but my faith has truly helped me evolve into who I am. During the breakup I didn’t really talk to any of my friends about it, I only spoke to God. Within talking to God I was able to regain my confidence in myself. I realized that everything that happened was his plan and instead of fighting the feeling and being sad I needed to be thankful. I started to understand that God was taking me to a place where the relationship had expired. So many times we want something that is supposed to last a chapter to become a whole book and when things don’t turn out how we hoped we become sad. Instead of being sad, I devoted myself to the bible, meditating and clearing my headspace, and becoming more attentive to my inner voice. After doing all this I started to love myself more and trust my intuition. Looking back at those moments of my life I can’t help but laugh and be grateful for those experiences. Today I am a woman with more faith than fear and I’m so wrapped up in my faith and sense of positivity that depression has no place in my realm. Do I get sad every once in a while yes! but I go back to these techniques and the feeling never lasts. If you are suffering from depression please be patient with yourself, understand the root of your problems, be mindful, get in tune with your sense of spirituality, and please talk to a friend and seek help. I love you and I know you will get through this.