Nothing happens until you make it happen
If you want all your wildest dreams to happen, you have to start the engine. Everyone can try to help you and support you, but it’s still up to you to take action. Don’t wait for your parents to decide what you should be doing or they will guide you towards a path of their own. Don’t put your life under the control of another human being. This is your life, and until you realize that, you will remain in that stagnant phase. Life is not like high school where you wait for the bell to ring to signal its time to head to the next class. Life is ringing your own bell.
Learn to kill the procrastination.
Time waits for no one so the more you procrastinate, the more you push back your dreams. This is the hardest lesson yet, but If you want things to happen, start by writing it down because that will visualize it and encourage you to take action. Sometimes you can even punish yourself for not accomplishing things in a timely manner. You wouldn’t procrastinate your real job because it will result in getting fired, so keep the same energy for your own life.
Parents aren’t always right.
Your parents will only guide you according to the perception of life they know. And if your parents are Nigerians like mine, they probably want you to be a nurse or a doctor. It’s not the worst thing in the world that your parents want you to live with a sense of stability but is that what you want.? It may feel disappointing to let your parents know that you want to venture off and do what you love but you have to. Break out from that umbrella and always do what makes you happy. You will always do your best work when it’s a passion.
Fear towards your dreams
A lot of things are going to scare you but those are things that will make you better. No matter how afraid that dream makes you, no matter how unprepared you still give it a shot. A lot of the things that scared me was transitioning from the health field to business. Starting my own blog with no experience, and also taking full control of my life. Conquering all these fears have proved that I should never be afraid to pursue my dreams because of fear, and I can do so much that I have ever imagined. Be afraid, but don’t let that stop you from your wildest dreams.
It all starts with self-belief
How will great things happen if you don’t believe that they can? You don’t need a rich parent, fancy degree, or special powers to make anything happen for yourself. Master yourself, understand who you are, your strengths, habits, thought patterns, and belief systems.
As long as you are confident in what you bring to the table and who you are without being attached to anything else, you will eventually see that you are you ever need.
Dump the negative friends
Your life is yours to paint so make sure you don’t miss a spot. This is your one opportunity to curate the best people in the world and invite them to your table. Don’t waste time hanging out with people who sprinkle negativity, the naysayers, the gossipers, the bad influences, the ones that don’t want you to shine, The low key haters, trash all of them. If you don’t remove these people from your life, they will bring you down and halt your growth. Always remember the people you align with says a lot about whom you will become.
Find a mentor that’s done it.
Some people are lucky to find an actual mentor while others are lucky enough to find a book. Find someone smarter than you who can outline a path for you. If you don’t have someone that close to you, I definitely suggest you look at your network and direct message someone who has done what you want to do. Don’t be afraid of not getting a response from a stranger. A lot of people don’t get what they want simply because they didn’t ask. Of course, If that doesn’t work, some of the best information is hiding in a book but you won’t find it until you seek it.
Explore different hobbies
There is power in being exposed to different lifestyles and hobbies. You never know which avenue might change your life. Try different career paths, apply for internships, and keep learning to do things you never dared. So far I am an account executive at a marketing company who also has a brand that empowers younger women to do more, who is also a motivational speaker, and also is currently pursuing modeling. I don’t plan to stop there until I have reached great heights and you shouldn’t either.
Fail, but fail fast!
It’s not about failing because everyone fails. It’s about how long it takes to fail to finally find the answer. Make all the mistakes early so that you can be known to win while you are still young. Don’t dwell so much on the things that didn’t go right, instead ask yourself what are the pattern here? What did I do wrong? What can I do differently? And what can I learn from this? When you fail fast and learn from it, you are already one step closer to winning.
The more the sacrifice, the more the reward
Everything good that happens takes a lot of sacrifices. You will always have to lose something in order to gain. Sacrifices can be getting off social media to spend more time crushing your goals. On the weekends when most people are partying, use that time wisely. Instead of spending your money on materialistic items that go down in value, maybe invest your money in something. If your hopes and dreams are to be a model, a sacrifice would be sacrificing the money from your day job to pay for a really great trainer. To be great, you have to make sacrifices. It won’t always be easy but this is what it takes. Depending on how bad you want to win, will determine the level of sacrifices you are willing to make.
Financial management saved my life
Coming from a family that’s not exactly rich no one teaches you about financial management.
Spend your money on things that are valuable. As a student, the first thing on your mind shouldn’t be a brand new car ( car note). Drive that old car with a lot of pride and keep your money saved and invested. When a paycheck arrives, only spend 20% of that. Live broke even when you have a lot of money. Get a capital one online banking account open and don’t get the physical card so you aren’t tempted to spend. Within your capital account, you can create different accounts. It can be an account for luxury items, bills, and even gas. Make sure to name your accounts so you know what your money is going towards. Also, purchase a credit card ( i have the chase sapphire) this will give you rewards for spending your own money, help you accumulate travel points, and help build your credit score so you can be eligible to purchase a house someday.
The man who builds you up is better than the man who gives you money
The basic state of mind is looking for a man that can shower you with material items. Every Girl boss should know that It’s better to have a man who teaches you things, builds you up, and even invests in your dreams. Any guy that wants to buy your love with material items alone, but isn’t willing to build you up, is not the man for you.
Knowledge acquired equals wealth received.
The more you know in life, the more you can leverage. Learn as much as you can and invest in your brain. Go to the library and read as much on what you want to be an expert on and then tax on that. People will pay you way more money to use your mind that they will for you to just labor. Strive to be so knowledgeable that you became sought after. That’s the real keys to building wealth.
Material items come and go.
Don’t buy material items to keep up with the jones because this is the fastest way to go broke. Material items don’t have any value at all. Value yourself enough to know that you do not need LV to be popping. You can be popping all by yourself. If you must get a material item, tie it to an accomplishment. Set some important goals like big goals for example ( getting signed to an agency) ones you accomplish it get yourself something nice.
There is no such thing as FOMO.
The events will be the same whether you do it now or 5 years from now when you are more established. Don’t let social media make you feel like you are missing out on anything. Focus on doing the things that make you feel one step closer to your dreams. If you have to log off social media for a year to refocus and get over the feeling like you are missing out, do that. Wouldn’t you like to work hard now, and have fun on a jet, while your friends are still popping bottles at the club? Exactly!
Feed your focus and starve your distractions.
Work on doing the things that align with your goals. Spend more time in the library, at a cafe reading up on things that make you better. Learning as much skill sets as you can. Anything that will help you become better at what you want in life to that and the rest trash. Get off social media, stop hanging out with people you barely like, stop doing things that are not adding value to your life. In other words, focus on the business that pays you.
School is not for everyone.
If you think that school is not for you, then start thinking about what is. Don’t focus on your weakness, and start focusing on your strengths. I know a lot of bloggers who actually skipped school and are currently making so much money from monetizing their blogs. A lot of youtube people are cashing in on just being themselves and doing what they enjoy. Whatever you want to do, find a way that you can help people and make money while doing what you love.
Stop comparing yourself to other people.
Envy is the biggest problem we have in this society. Everyone is too busy looking at how others live their life that it’s preventing them from taking action and building their own life. Stop comparing yourself to other people because who knows what they went through to get to where they are. Be contempt with where you are in life, and if not work harder to get to where you want to be. Focus on yourself and develop yourself because that’s all that matters now.
No one owes you shit (entitlement)
Please realize that life owes you nothing except for thing things you worked hard for. Your parents don’t owe you a roof over your head, and no one owes you an opportunity. Nobody will plug you up, you have to plug yourself up. The moment you stop being so entitled it leaves room for accountability. When you start taking charge of your life you realize that this is your life and the power lies in your hands.
Change your mindset and change your life.
Instead of thinking about what you did wrong, think about what you can do right. Instead of thinking about the problem, become more solution oriented. Instead of going to work for a paycheck, go to work to acquire the skill set first and look at the money as a bonus. Instead of thinking what can people do for you, start thinking about how can you add value to people. You would be very surprised how your life could change once you become an optimist and change your way of thinking.
Mistakes are platforms for growth
All the mistakes I made helped me understand who I was, and who I needed to be to get better. It really taught me lessons that no human being could have thought me. It’s kind of like riding a bike. You pedal and fall a couple of times until you start riding. Making a mistake of almost going to nursing school, taught me to never do anything that I didn’t 100% like. It also taught me that doing what I hope would make me happier than all the money in the world. So try to look at your mistakes as something positive. Make those mistakes, learn from them, grow, and get to the next test life has to offer.
Keep your presence special
I noticed something about humans. They like you, but they want to be teased by you. I Learned over the years that as awesome as I am, I can’t be everywhere. I can’t keep seeing the same people every weekend doing the same thing. I can’t hang out with people whom I have nothing in common, I can’t hang out with people who are negative, and take from me instead of giving. I know it’s hard sometimes, but It’s a decision that really will increase your value as a person. I mean imagine if you went to the grocery store and always saw Beyonce. She wouldn’t be Beyonce, would she?
Dreams through the fear
The only thing that could have stopped me from my dreams was the second-guessing and the procrastination. When I was younger I would find any way to talk myself out of doing the things I thought scared me. But as I look at the person I used to be compared to the person I am becoming, I realize fear is a scam. The trick I learned is that with fear, you have to deaf ear it. You have to legit not hear it. When you start saying you can’t, get a grip and remember “ I AM THE SHIT, I CAN.” Remember that the decisions you make today are aligned with your future forever. This is the time to paint The life you want. Take it.
Don’t dwell problem, focus on solutions
If I could give myself one advice as a teenager, it would be to stop dwelling on my problems and start thinking about how I could fix them. This sounds like such a generic statement, but if you apply it, it works. Instead of being the Cynthia that would cry because she got hit with a curveball, I made the choice to be the Cynthia that sees the problem and immediately thinks how can she fix this. So the next time something unexpected happens, be courageous and know that like everything else, this too shall pass.